Wednesday, April 11

why i don't even mind that embarrassing moment in the library at age seven.


there was this one time in second grade. i was in the school library and i really had to pee. you know, like, intensely. but, you guys, more importantly, i needed to find at least one book to take away with me before i had to get to class, or wherever it was i had to be. i don't even remember why i was in the library alone. was it lunch time and i had snuck away? seems like the sad, loner thing i would have very well done. i don't really know, but the point is that i was all alone and had to pee and with a sense of urgency, i was dashing all about to find a suitable book. and then i found one and i was checking it out from the librarian and then, well, i peed. right there. in my dress, for in that stage of life i refused to wear anything but dresses, you see. and i started crying. it all turned out alright in the end, but i guess what i am meaning to say most of and above all with this story is this: i love books. i will pee myself before i have to live life without a good book. and that is my introduction to this post.

a couple of weeks ago i got myself a library card to the seattle public libraries, and, simultaneously, to a magical world i had forgotten all about. books have been a joy and treasure to me since before i could read. i could listen to story after story, and when my dad would start to fall asleep as he read me books before bed, i would elbow him in the ribs or snap his eyelids and say, "daddy  WAKE UP! keep reading!" 

growing up, we lived a mere five-minute-walk away from the library. trips there are among my favorite and most vivid memories from my childhood. i remember having my own card, and the sense of importance i felt when i was allowed to carry it my pocket. every time, i had to pried away from the shelves. i was allowed to check out as many books  as i could carry. so, on the walks back, those five minutes would seem a lifetime under the weight of treasure trove in my arms. but it didn't matter, because i knew as soon as i got home i could pile the books in my room and dive into each new adventure for hours on end. those were special times. not only for all the stories i was exposed to, or the happiness i experienced with the opening of each new cover, but for the endless possibilities i felt there were in the world of books, and how readily available they were to me. 

i have been in libraries since, but not with a card. it's different when you have a library card. and, well, i felt something. something i remember feeling when i was eight, nine, and ten. when i was that little girl who would parade around the library like it was disneyland. giddiness, i think it was. has that ever happened to you? when you suddenly feel or experience something that transports you in time? i mean the good and happy kind of feeling and memory. you are filled with a sereneness and excitement that you had somehow lost when you grew up. i don't think that happens to most people often enough. i think we lose, or rather forget, quite a bit when grown up things start getting bigger and pushier and hulk-like and stomp out some of the sweeter, simpler, and precious things. 

it's good to be a kid every now and then. 


  1. First Kaylie B....I gotta say, you are quite brave for admitting that you peed. I can just imagine that little girl in her dress. You truly do love books and this post definitely shows that! .-)) And I'm with you about how wonderful libraries. I used to go all the time when I was little and bring back stacks of books with me. Sometimes, I would read 2 to 3 books in a day until the wee hours of the morning with my flashlight.

    Thanks for the memories and p.s. I loved your description about experiencing the night sky. it is wonderfully marvelous. and I'm sorry you couldn't see the video but one day soon I'm sure you'll get to see it!


    1. haha well, i figured since it was before, like, fourth grade, it was safe to share. if i had been thirteen or something when that happened, i probably would be keeping my mouth shut up about it for forever and ever. ooh, me too, lots of books all night!


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