why i should not even bother cleaning the shower.

right now i am on nanny-duty, waiting for k-bear to wake up any minute, in which i will have to go and get her and hurry us up outside before the sun goes away, especially since it was snowing this morning. in march. but first, i want to tell you all a funny and pitiful story.

my roomate e, whom i have mentioned many times before, is really an excellent roommate, and person in general. also, she is good at being clean when she needs to be. and responsible, and stuff like that. if it were not for her, my living conditions may bear a close resemblance to that of those people on hoarding: buried alive. but not that bad, actually. that is just a hyberbole to make the point that i am mostly very messy, and bad at cleaning.

february was my month to clean the shower. and being the procrastinator that i am, my february-cleaning took place last night. i will take this moment to give thanks to e for being the patient, understanding soul that she is, with her gentle reminders that...it was damn time the shower got cleaned. so. last night, i knew i just had to get it over with.

i put some bob marley on, and got to work. i scrubbed that shower until it sparkled. even the grout. even the grossgrossgross hair out of the drain. and i really hate hair when it is detached from the body. shiver.

and then...then, something happened. as i was rinsing the tub, i realized that the water was not draining. oh no - the shower was plugged. great. besides the obvious inconvenience of a plugged drain, this was also a problem because my cat, william shakespurr, likes to jump into and romp around the shower, for some odd reason. and i knew that a few inches of water would not stop him from jumping in.

i was right. he totally did before i could stop him, and them i had to wrap him in a towel and kick him out of the bathroom. but, closing the bathroom door all night was also a problem, because the cat litter box is located in there. and i did not want cat poop all over the place, in addition to a plugged drain. a person can only take so much, you know?

so i dragged the litter box out of the bathroom, closed the door, and left a sticky note on the door for e to see when she came home later that night, so that she would be aware of all that occurred.

thinking about the inches of water just sitting in that tub made me feel so helpless. so then, i had a brilliant idea. take a large cup, and start scooping the water, and pouring it in the bathroom sink. that way, there would be less of a mess to deal with when we went to fix it. so i started scooping. scoop, pour, scoop, pour. scoop, pour. and the water level, slowly, began to decrease. after about ten minutes of scooping, i called it quits and figured that was good enough for the night. then i went to bed.

fast forward to this morning, i am driving to work, and i get a text from e.

"the shower wasn't draining because the stopper has been lifted up."

....

......

..........

megafacepalm.

somehow, during my thorough cleaning process, i bumped into the stopper for the drain, causing the "clog" and lack of water flow.

and that, everyone who is interested, is why i should not even bother cleaning the shower.