this morning, my thought train dropped me off at the year 2007 in a wendy's parking lot.
with me were my two best friends, kelly and sam. we had dubbed ourselves the 'tres twigs' for really weird and wonderful reasons, and we loved each other so much (we still do). it was, obviously, one of our girls' nights. sitting in the car of the wendy's, we stuffed our faces with french fries, blasting 'irreplaceable' and talking about boys - stupid stupid boys boys boys. and, i am sure, other intellectual things.
because the thing is, one or more of us (i don't remember which) had been hurt or angered by some boy (i don't remember who) and it doesn't even matter now which one of us it was because if one of us was hurt or sad or angry, then we were ALL hurt or sad or angry. that's just how it was. and clearly, the remedy called for food, beyonce, and girl time. i think it's safe to say that that is always a good go-to remedy, amiright. and now, all i remember from that night was how much fun it really was. how good for our hearts it was. how precious our time together was. how fabulous beyonce is all the time.
it's funny, because i don't know why that memory occurred to me this morning. while working. with a toddler. at the zoo. why this thought should come into my brain makes no sense. but it did all the same, and isn't it always nice to remember good things?
but it got me thinking about more (see? thought train. all-aboard, twenty-four seven). and the thought is this: sometimes the really really simple and sweet things that i knew as a kid were not too far of a stretch from the truth and goodness i still need in my life. as i get older - and i expect this is true for others as well, but for the sake of this post i will just speak as it pertains to myself - i complicate everything and bury things deeper just so i have to dig them out again, therefore feeling like i have done more work to get the end result. does that make sense?
i'll put it this way. maybe, in those moments when i am hurting or grieving or fuming or even just lonely, what i need is a wendy's parking lot with people who love me. you know, figuratively. or, you know what actually, literally. but the point is that maybe i don't need to feel so lost sometimes. maybe there's a part of me - of us all - that isn't easily labeled child or adult. maybe that's not how things are meant to be. i think that we are supposed to learn a lot of things, like how to be responsible, and how to spend money wisely, and how to get an oil change within an appropriate amount of time, and how to handle conflict, and how to treat other people well, and how to love and live generously and kindly, and how to grocery shop for meals not in the freezer section of the store, and other stuff like that. that is the hope for us, anyway. but maybe, just maybe, there is a part of us that is in a middle place, or perhaps it isn't the middle of anything at all but rather above all of life's concerns and rules and expectations and lies. and in that place is an inherent truth and wonder that is apart of us, that is simple yet profound. we don't need to add complexity to an already complex and confusing world.
golden. didn't think i was going to find this, but i am pretty much totally positive this was from that night.
kelly, me, sam. tres twigs forever.