Wednesday, February 1
sometimes, you wake up and the day feels odd. and you're feeling peculiar, irregular, and screwy. or maybe just sad. and you don't know why. and you drink some coffee because that usually makes you feel better, but it doesn't really do anything. and you're still tired. and you don't want to talk to any people, and even if you were to do so, you wouldn't really have any words to explain how you are. all you are wanting is to go to bed and start a new day.
but one glum day turns into two. and then three. and then four. and then very much eventually you have a string of glum days fashioned one after the other like so. and colors don't look the same. they are not as bright as before. and food doesn't taste the same as before, because for some reason it is not as delectable. maybe you don't feel like eating any. maybe you want to eat a lot, because that might help. and when it doesn't, you do not have the inclination to do things like you normally do. and you dislike the strange person in the mirror who is wearing your clothes, of which you also do not like, if you care that day.
and maybe you'll cry. and maybe you'll scowl. but maybe, just maybe, you won't feel anything.
perhaps, though, you just may be really lucky to have the realization that you are all topsy turvy and want to get right side up again.
so you try to do that. hopefully. which is a good sign, if you have that; hope. and some days you are a lot more successful. than others. and you are blessed because even though you do not feel very lovable there are some hearts that really do love you. and you just have to let them. which you do want to do, but maybe you have forgotten how to do that exactly. so just let them.
so hopefullyhopefullyhopefully all that is up will turn down and down will turn up. it probably will, you just perhaps can't feel it, but you can know it.
and plus that also, you are not alone.