i lift my eyes up to the hills

I have come to the realization that life is never going to be perfect. What? That's right. Sure, on a surfacy level I was aware of this, my head knew this to be a fact. But as I was talking to God last night, it dawned on me; I have been walking in the mindset that everything difficult should just go away, when in reality there is always something going on, always something that needs to be dealt with, decisions that need to be made. There are times of calm when storms have subdued, but that doesn't mean that the waters stop moving. Life is always on the move. And that is how it is supposed to be.


I was not created to live a static, comfortable life; yet I am often resistant to change, and stepping out of my comfort zone can be like pulling teeth. God did not send His Son here to make my problems go away, but to save me for eternity and every single day, and to be my source of comfort and my guide through the rough patches that I will inevitably face. Once I overcome one obstacle, there is sure to be another waiting for me; maybe harder, maybe softer, but without a doubt it will be there. And I have a few courses of action to choose between-- 1. complain, resist it, crumple. 2. ignore it, avoid it, let it build. 3. take it on myself, rely on my own measly strength. 4. humble myself, accept it, and set out through the storm under the arm of my Savior.


And really, those are my only options, and one of them will have to take place because there is no evading the problems/choices/ responsibilities/heartaches of this world. I cannot say that I understand all that God puts in my path, or why certain things unfold the way they do-- but I can question them all I want and they will still. be. there. But I have no reason to doubt the Lord in times of difficulty, because I have borne witness time and time again to His goodness, power and the strength in periods of rejoicing. Does God change when things do not go the way we hope? No. He is forever loving and perfect and just.


Sometimes our past just needs a glance; not to be dwelt in, but to be measured. There are periods of darkness or pain or difficulty I believed would never end--or end by drowning me. And yet I have overcome, and only by the grace and guidance of my Lord; and I am here today, standing firm on His promises. So what then can He not bring me through and out of again? I cannot live in the longing for a perfect, unblemished road, or a clear, calm sea. But I can live in assurance of God's love and His perfect plan for me, with all its highs and lows. And I will be the better for it, and I will be stronger, and I will be wiser, and I will be bigger, and best of all I will be closer to God.

"I lift my eyes up to the hills, From where does my help come? My
help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." psalm121:1-2